Five Questions for Deciding if a Therapist (Including Me!) is Right for You
David B. Feldman, PhD
Whatever your reasons for seeking therapy, you deserve to find a therapist who fits you. Here are five questions to ask yourself when pondering whether a therapist (including me) is a good fit for you, along with some information about my practice:
1. Does the therapist have expertise working with issues like yours?
Like most therapists, I have skills in working with issues such as depression, anxiety, and stress, that are experienced by a large number of people. I also have specialized skills in working with people experiencing grief and loss, serious physical illness, and caregiver stress. In addition, I’m one of the principal developers of Hope Therapy, a wellness approach to help people envision their futures and find ways to live more satisfying and meaningful lives. So, whether you're facing important life decisions, chronic stress, burnout, grief, or just want to live a fuller life, I probably have tools that can help.
2. Do you find the therapist trustworthy and likable?
It’s important that your therapist be someone you trust, respect, and like. Therapy isn’t always easy. So, it’s essential that the person accompanying you on your therapy journey be someone you feel truly “gets” you. If you decide to work with me, my goal will be to provide you with a safe space to explore yourself and your issues. I know that people have sometimes had negative experiences with therapists in the past. If that's you, I encourage you not to give up trying to find a therapist that fits with you and your needs.
3. What is the therapist’s approach?
Therapists have different approaches. Some are more active, while others take a more non-directive role. As someone who draws primarily from the Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT) tradition, my approach is goal-directed, active, and collaborative. In the first few sessions, I’ll spend most of the time listening, asking open and curious questions, and attempting to understand the problems that face you. After the first few sessions, I may begin taking a more active stance, making suggestions for tools and techniques to try. But not all tools are for everyone. That’s where collaboration comes in. You are the most important authority on your therapy process. So, although I’ll present options, you’ll choose which ones to try and together we'll find ways forward.
4. How available is the therapist?
Certain problems require more frequent therapy meetings than others, and some people may value a higher level of availability in their therapist than other people. I generally meet with clients once a week for about an hour, though we'll determine together what the right schedule is for you. My practice is fully online, via a special secure video portal designed especifically for therapists, so you can find a safe and comfortable spot in your home to make the connection. As a full-time professor in addition to a therapist, I also am somewhat limited on the number of clients I can see and my schedule. Nonetheless, I would value the opportunity to speak with you regarding whether I am a good fit for the issues in your life. You can contact me by phone at (650) 201-2074 or email me though my contact form. If I'm not immediately available by phone, please leave a message on my confidential voicemail and I will return your call as soon as possible.
5. Do you think the therapist has the potential to provide the help you’re looking for?
There is no “quick fix” for the problems most people face. Most of the time, therapists will recommend meeting once a week for at least a few months. Nonetheless, during the first two or three sessions, it's important to ask yourself whether you believe there is at least a potential that this therapist will be helpful to you. Although the information you’ve gathered in response to the previous four questions will be an important part of how you’ll make this determination, you’re also likely to have a strong “hunch.” Either way, there’s never an obligation to continue a therapy process that isn’t helpful. If you decide to work with me, I’ll ask you for frequent feedback about what’s working well in our meetings and what isn’t working so well. Our goal will be to do more and more of what works for you.
In conclusion, therapy is ultimately all about you. It’s about helping you on your personal journey toward a more satisfying, meaningful, and happy life. I hope that, by exploring these five questions, you’re able to find the right therapist for you. If you'd like to find more about me and my practice, please contact me for a no-charge 15-minute phone consultation.
David B. Feldman, PhD
Whatever your reasons for seeking therapy, you deserve to find a therapist who fits you. Here are five questions to ask yourself when pondering whether a therapist (including me) is a good fit for you, along with some information about my practice:
1. Does the therapist have expertise working with issues like yours?
Like most therapists, I have skills in working with issues such as depression, anxiety, and stress, that are experienced by a large number of people. I also have specialized skills in working with people experiencing grief and loss, serious physical illness, and caregiver stress. In addition, I’m one of the principal developers of Hope Therapy, a wellness approach to help people envision their futures and find ways to live more satisfying and meaningful lives. So, whether you're facing important life decisions, chronic stress, burnout, grief, or just want to live a fuller life, I probably have tools that can help.
2. Do you find the therapist trustworthy and likable?
It’s important that your therapist be someone you trust, respect, and like. Therapy isn’t always easy. So, it’s essential that the person accompanying you on your therapy journey be someone you feel truly “gets” you. If you decide to work with me, my goal will be to provide you with a safe space to explore yourself and your issues. I know that people have sometimes had negative experiences with therapists in the past. If that's you, I encourage you not to give up trying to find a therapist that fits with you and your needs.
3. What is the therapist’s approach?
Therapists have different approaches. Some are more active, while others take a more non-directive role. As someone who draws primarily from the Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT) tradition, my approach is goal-directed, active, and collaborative. In the first few sessions, I’ll spend most of the time listening, asking open and curious questions, and attempting to understand the problems that face you. After the first few sessions, I may begin taking a more active stance, making suggestions for tools and techniques to try. But not all tools are for everyone. That’s where collaboration comes in. You are the most important authority on your therapy process. So, although I’ll present options, you’ll choose which ones to try and together we'll find ways forward.
4. How available is the therapist?
Certain problems require more frequent therapy meetings than others, and some people may value a higher level of availability in their therapist than other people. I generally meet with clients once a week for about an hour, though we'll determine together what the right schedule is for you. My practice is fully online, via a special secure video portal designed especifically for therapists, so you can find a safe and comfortable spot in your home to make the connection. As a full-time professor in addition to a therapist, I also am somewhat limited on the number of clients I can see and my schedule. Nonetheless, I would value the opportunity to speak with you regarding whether I am a good fit for the issues in your life. You can contact me by phone at (650) 201-2074 or email me though my contact form. If I'm not immediately available by phone, please leave a message on my confidential voicemail and I will return your call as soon as possible.
5. Do you think the therapist has the potential to provide the help you’re looking for?
There is no “quick fix” for the problems most people face. Most of the time, therapists will recommend meeting once a week for at least a few months. Nonetheless, during the first two or three sessions, it's important to ask yourself whether you believe there is at least a potential that this therapist will be helpful to you. Although the information you’ve gathered in response to the previous four questions will be an important part of how you’ll make this determination, you’re also likely to have a strong “hunch.” Either way, there’s never an obligation to continue a therapy process that isn’t helpful. If you decide to work with me, I’ll ask you for frequent feedback about what’s working well in our meetings and what isn’t working so well. Our goal will be to do more and more of what works for you.
In conclusion, therapy is ultimately all about you. It’s about helping you on your personal journey toward a more satisfying, meaningful, and happy life. I hope that, by exploring these five questions, you’re able to find the right therapist for you. If you'd like to find more about me and my practice, please contact me for a no-charge 15-minute phone consultation.
David B. Feldman © 2024